Books 16 and 17: Franny, Zooey, and The Way of a Pilgrim

J.D. Salinger, author of the controversial Catcher in the Rye, also wrote Franny and Zooey, which had been sitting in my to be read pile for decades -- always near my nightstand but never on top. Written in the fifties and published together, Franny is a short story and Zooey is a novella and they read like two parts of the same book. In Franny, the reader has a front row seat to a dinner conversation between college coed Franny Glass and her boyfriend Lane. It is a painful view of her experiencing a nervous breakdown as she tells Lane about a book she's been reading. Zooey picks up where Franny leaves off, with Zooey, Franny's older brother, trying to help her even though he has troubles of his own. The reader is again ringside for a philosophical discussion, this time between the siblings in the New York City apartment. 

Maybe this is the book that started it all. After college, I lived with my great-aunt Nell in the small town of Tallassee, Alabama. She and I had some grand adventures while I did a lot of reading - and saved my money to move to Washington, DC. Years later, she asked me, "Jeannie, how many years did you live with me?" I answered, "Aunt Nell, that was six months." Oh how we laughed! (This has been mentioned before, read it here)

I must have read Franny and Zooey during that time, because some of the scenes remain vivid in my mind, tied inextricably with the scent of the large magnolia in Aunt Nell's front yard, the deeply, unnervingly quiet evenings, and the road to town that curved past the well-kept cemetery. Memories of the little book left enough of an impression on me to want to read it again, especially with the prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me." It seemed like a good addition to this list of spiritual books. 

Franny's breakdown arises because of the dichotomy between her very superficial life and the wanderer in a book called The Way of a Pilgrim. I didn't remember the ties between books and enjoyed discovering this second book. It's about an unnamed Russian peasant from the 1800's who hears the words, "Pray without ceasing." He writes, "I looked at my Bible and with my own eyes read the words which I had heard, that is, that we ought always, at all times and in all places, to pray with uplifted hands. I thought and thought, but knew not what to make of it. 'What ought I do?'"

As simple as this pilgrim's life is, his story is fascinating; the life and times of a Russian peasant, his single-minded pursuit, and the people he meets along the way held my constant attention. And strangely enough, the pilgrim does the same thing Franny does; he refers to another book, The Philokalia, which he holds as dear to him as Franny does The Way of a Pilgrim. We can only assume Salinger copied this book-within-a-book on purpose.

Some favorite quotes: "After no great lapse of time I had the feeling that the prayer had, so to speak, by its own action passed from my lips to my heart." "All my ideas were quite calmed of their own accord. I thought of nothing whatever but my prayer. My mind tended to listen to it, and my heart began of itself to feel at times a certain warmth and pleasure." "Again I started off on my wanderings. But now I did not walk along as before, filled with care. The calling upon the name of Jesus Christ gladdened my way." "Know this, that all those troubles were warded off from you by the protection of the most holy Mother of God because of that short prayer, by which you lifted up your heart every day unto union with God." 

Meanwhile, over a meal (that she doesn't take a single bite of), Franny describes The Way of the Pilgrim and the Jesus Prayer to Lane. She says, "I mean all these really advanced and absolutely unbogus religious persons that keep telling you if you repeat the name of God incessantly, something happens." When Lane asks her, "What is the result?" Franny's answer is perfection. "You get to see God." 

Back in New York City, Franny tells Zooey, "You're saying I want something from the Jesus Prayer --which makes me just as acquisitive, in your word, really, as somebody who wants a sable coat, or to be famous, or to be dripping with some kind of crazy prestige. I know all that!"

He responds with, "...I once had a strong desire to say the prayer myself but didn't. For all I know, I may be a little jealous of your having a go at it. It's very possible, in fact. In the first place, I'm a ham. It may very well be that I hate like hell to play Martha to somebody else's Mary."

Zooey also says, "Jesus realized there is no separation from God." "But most of all, above everything else, who in the Bible besides Jesus knew -- knew -- that we're carrying the Kingdom of Heaven around with us, inside, where we're all too g*d* stupid and sentimental and unimaginative to look?" "When you don't see Jesus for exactly what he was, you miss the whole point of the Jesus Prayer. If you don't understand Jesus, you can't understand his prayer--you don't get the prayer at all, you just get some kind of organized cant." "The Jesus Prayer has one aim and one aim only, to endow the person who says it with Christ-Consciousness."

Before I read these books, I had learned about japa, a Sanskrit word meaning the repetition of a mantra, and I had searched for a mantra that would speak to me. There are many choices, and "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me," is only one. Over time I landed on "Thank you, Higher Power." At first I was doubtful that this was the right choice, but nothing else I tried as a mantra brings me joy, "calms my ideas," and helps me practice the presence of God like these words do.

Besides the connection between J. D. Salinger and the anonymous pilgrim, I've also learned that the film director Wes Anderson has drawn inspiration from Salinger's work, creating The Royal Tenenbaums with the Glass family in mind. These books, and their many offshoots, were definitely thought-provoking and entertaining, and I'm keeping my eye out for more connections.

Staying Encouraged

 I'm thrilled to announce that just this morning, Red Adept Publishing offered me a contract for my third book! It's working title is Stay Encouraged, and I'm very excited to share it with the world! 

It may take a minute - book publishing usually does. RAP offered me a contract for The Existence of Pity in November of 2015 and it was published in November of 2016. I started writing it in 2010. I started writing Courage Without Grace  in 2012 and the contract came in March of 2020. It was published in March of 2021. I started working on this one in 2017, and I'm staying encouraged it'll be published around March of 2027!

This contemporary women's fiction, with the usual new age twist, follows Josie, now the mother of adult daughters, on a trip with her Aunt Rosie to meet the daughter she gave up many years before. It will go through two rounds of edits, one for content and one for line edits, and as you can see by the photo, I've already jumped back in to edit the manuscript myself! It's never perfect, only better.

Thanks so much to Lynn McNamee and the staff at Red Adept, and to editor and reader Diane Skelton, who reminded me often to stay encouraged! And Diane Ferguson too! Thank you all!

Today Is Going To Be My Peaceful Day

I could have gone... of course I could have. I could have bought a plane ticket or hopped in my car and driven the ten or so hours to my brother's home to see the Buddhist monks and Aloka the Peace Dog on their amazing Peace Walk from Fort Worth Texas to Washington, DC. And I wanted so very much to see them! But as I explained to Chris - acting out the insanity of such a trip at this wintry time of year - the effort required to make it all happen seemed like the opposite of all that is peace, all that the monks are walking for.

Yes, meeting them would have been a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In account after account people talk of how life-changing it has been to just be in the presence of Aloka and the Venerable Bhikkhu Pannakara.

Every morning I checked on their progress, watching them walk, quite quickly, across the country on the little map created for this purpose, and every morning the quiet beauty of their words and simple actions brought me to tears. I blink them away every time I see Aloka. Why? It's the power of their consistent actions; beautifully simple, yet so profound. And their pure intentions, so sincere.

These precious monks want peace for everyone. Every family. And their message is so simple! No one can bring peace and happiness to our lives except us. We have to put down our phones and be present. A simple place to start is to pick up a pen and paper every day and write, "Today is going to be my peaceful day." 

As you know, I've been reading spiritual books and blogging about them here, but this Walk for Peace has taught me more than everything I've read. Chris put it best. "They are giving us hope." And I am so grateful.

What I'm Reading: Book 15, The Delight of Being Ordinary

When I told one of my friends that my blog had been overtaken by book reviews of a more spiritual nature, she recommended I read The Delight of Being Ordinary: A Road trip with the Pope and the Dalai Lama, by Roland Merullo. She and I go way back. When I arrived in Washington, DC, at 22 with a green Chevette full of my belongings and a bike strapped on top, she became my first friend. I had been accepted to The George Washington University's Publication Specialist Program and found a job at the university working with her. We shared a large office in the history department and spent many hours talking as we worked, kindred spirits whose paths crossed for a year or two, then moved on -- her up north and me to Florida some years later. I read the book she recommended with her in mind, enjoying the memories of such a pivotal time in my life.

    This book was published in 2017, written when Pope Francis was head of the Catholic Church. The Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is still the leader of Tibetan Buddhism. Paolo dePadova tells us his story, how he is the First Assistant to his cousin, His Holiness the Pope of Rome, or was, until he orchestrates the kidnapping of a lifetime. Actually, dePadova's victims are willing accomplices who want nothing more than to take an unofficial vacation. DePadova himself is reluctant to comply with the Pope and Dalai Lama, but he is overruled and off the three men go on this unlikely but delightful adventure.

I enjoyed the story and the characters the three met along the way, and appreciated how dePadova  struggled with everyday life and didn't pretend to have all the answers, even though in his car (a borrowed Maserati with silver stripes!) sat two of the wisest men on the planet. The highlights of the book for me were the thought-provoking questions and the delicious nuggets of wisdom proffered by these titans of faith. Here are a few.

"All difficulties in this life, every moment of difficulty, comes from the distance between what is and what we want to be."

"The world is bursting with neurosis, and it seems to me that the source of this neurosis is a lack of appropriate acceptance, an urge to control everything, to resist God's divine guidance in whatever surprising or difficult form it takes."

"We wanted to think we understood, that we had some control, when in actual fact we made our way through time on the thinnest film of ice over a lake that was unfathomably deep and utterly mysterious..." 

These next two quotes are especially meaningful. "Ignore the cold wind of fear. Trust in God's protection. I tried to imagine what it would be like to believe every minute of every day according to advice like that! I was two steps into the dark dusty tunnel and filled with spiritual envy. To be free of fear! To believe - to really believe - that you were always watched over and protected by a kind and all-powerful spirit."

"Could it be, I wondered, could it really be that we were loved that way too? Could there be some Essence, some Father or Mother or Divine Intelligence that felt about me, about us, the way Rosa and I felt about Anna Lisa? Could our love for [our daughter] be some kind of metaphor for a large relationship, God to humankind?"

Like dePadova, I struggle to allow myself to truly believe, without fear, that I am loved by this all-powerful spirit as deeply as I love my children. It's nice to know I'm not alone. 

'"The Dalai Lama said, 'I say sometimes now, 'My religion is kindness,' because to say other things only divides people. All peoples can be kind.'"

This last quote reminds me of another favorite aspect of the book; the relationship between the Pope and the Dalai Lama. First and foremost, they are kind to each other, respecting the other's belief system. Laughter and delight seem to be their most proficient common language.

Many more pages have been dog-eared with passages underlined and tagged with sticky notes (I'm a firm believer in interacting with books), but much of the wisdom is circumstantial. You'll have to read it yourself to glean insights from the pages.

What I'm Reading: Book 14, Brother Lawrence

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence is a tiny thing at 64 pages and I love everything about it. It looks like a Christmas gift. The copyright date is MCMLVIII, I haven't seen Roman numerals for 1958 in a while. I love that I found this gem among my father's things after he passed away. And I love that my mom wrote "Jim and Marilyn Oliver" on the inside cover in her script -- handwriting that is indelibly marked on my soul.

The quotes from these "Conversations and Letters of Nicholas Herman of Lorraine" have been translated from the French, and the Preface, lovingly written by "The Publishers," Fleming H. Revell Company, says he became a Lay brother among the barefooted Carmelites at Paris in the year 1666. They write, "He showed us how, at any moment and in any circumstance, the soul that seeks God may find Him, and practice the presence of God."

Brother Lawrence was only 18 when he had the most amazing moment of his life, a simple moment that changed him forever. "That in the winter, seeing a tree stripped of its leaves, and considering that within a little time the leaves would be renewed, and after that the flowers and fruit appear, he received a high view of the providence and power of God, which has never since been effaced from his soul." The sight set him free from worldly desires, sparking an undying love for God that lasted his whole life. He died at age 77.

"His one desire was for communion with God. We find him worshiping more in his kitchen than in his cathedral." He remains relatable to all because he considered himself "a great awkward fellow who broke everything," and yet, "His very countenance was edifying, such a sweet and calm devotion appearing in it as could not but affect the beholders."

Possibly the most beautiful aspect of this book is how very enjoyable he makes practicing the presence of God sound. "At other times, when I apply myself to prayer, I feel all my spirit and all my soul lift itself up without any care or effort of mine, and it continues as it were suspended and firmly fixed in God, as in its center and place of rest." I want that!

Brother Lawrence's beautiful soul has been captured by this book, which has buoyed many over the centuries. Why is it so hard to share my thoughts about such a timeless gift? It may be that in reading this book, I've been joined by the spirits of my parents, both devout Christians, both now gone. How can I do them justice in this little blog post? Each sentence I write about Brother Lawrence's simplicity and humility and utter devotion to God comes across as arrogant, flowery, too much, so I scratch it out and start over. I can't be cool or hip when it comes to such sincerity, such honesty. All I can do is share his words, and try to follow in his footsteps, and feel God's presence right now as I sit at my desk, looking out my window at this lovely spring day.

And I can try to practice the presence of God.

Brother Lawrence makes it sound so easy. There isn't anything difficult about spending time in the presence of someone who loves you so much. In describing his understanding of how God sees him, Brother Lawrence says, "The King, full of mercy and goodness, very far from chastising me, embraces me with love, makes me eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of His treasures; He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways, and treats me in all respects as His favorite." How wonderful to hang out with someone who considers you their favorite!

My mom underlined the passage about finding God in every moment. "That the most excellent method he had found of going to God was that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing men, and (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God."

Maybe Brother Lawrence jokes when he writes, "One way to recollect the mind easily in the tie of prayer, and preserve it more in tranquility, is not to let it wander too far at other times." Would that I could simply rein in my wandering mind before it raced down the road of anxiety!

I've taken on the task of writing about twenty spiritual books to feel the presence of my Higher Power, and it has helped. Each book has uplifted me and taught me. But I've certainly let my mind wander far from tranquility. But not to worry. Brother Lawrence doesn't judge his readers. He only gently reminds us that, "There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God." Just for today, I'll try to remember that. Love you, Mom, love you, Dad.

What I'm Reading: Book 13, Sai Baba

Sri Sathya Sai Baba was a controversial Indian guru, and I dove into Sai Baba: The Holy Man and the Psychiatrist knowing about that. I recently found this book at Open Books & Prison Book Project, and it reminded me of a friend from thirty-five years ago. She was a Sai Baba devotee who traveled to India to see him. She had photos of him everywhere and spoke lovingly of him, and I wanted what she had, but something held me back from becoming a Sai Baba devotee. Like her, I wanted to be in love with my spiritual practice so much that nothing else mattered - and I still do. But I had to find my own path.

I appreciate the author, an American psychiatrist named Samuel H. Sandweiss, who tells of his travels to India to see Sai Baba, and describes his very human experience of devotion with openness and candor.

How true that, "Even though at present we know little about the various factors and mechanisms involved in a spiritual transformation, it is almost enough to be aware that such a phenomenon exists at all. Knowing that many people have undergone or been witness to this extraordinary experience can bring joy, and the strength to continue." 

"Engaging our mind constantly with God will tame it and bring it under control. When I was able to detach the mind from my struggle, and it became stilled and centered in the task of just being aware of my breathing, I felt great calm and relief." This is the benefit meditation offers me. I have learned to lay down the questions and fears, step back, and breathe. The reprieve may last moments or hours, and sometimes it transforms into peace, even joy.

This revelation from Sandweiss seems to be what the devotee experience is all about. "There is so much love in the world! Never had I felt this exquisite experience so deeply. Baba showed me in an instant what years of psychiatry had not: the means for igniting this love. Such deep love is born from the devotional yearning for, the sometimes suffering journey toward, the divine."

Sandweiss doesn't sugarcoat the difficulties of visiting India. But, "Despite the discomfort, most found Prasanthi Nilayam (the main ashram of Sai Baba) a special place with strong spiritual vibrations. Statues of gods, pictures of Baba, and the constant cleaning of sacred areas around the temple contribute to an atmosphere of silence charged with holiness." 

This charged atmosphere fuels many of us who seek out holy places like Sedona in Arizona, India, and beautiful  churches all over the world. In The Existence of Pity, I write about La Ermita, the Colombian church Josie visits with Blanca. Josie also finds solace in Washington DC's National Cathedral in Courage Without Grace.

This may be why so many are seekers: Sai Baba says, "Do not tell me that you do not care for that bliss, that you are satisfied with the delusion and are not willing to undergo the rigors of sleeplessness. Your basic nature, believe me, abhors this dull, dreary routine of eating, drinking and sleeping. It seeks something which it knows it has lost - santhi, inward contentment. It seeks liberation from bondage to the trivial and the temporary. Everyone craves for it in his heart of hearts. And it is available only in one shop: contemplation of the Highest Self, the basis of all this appearance."

But how to find santhi on a day-to-day basis? Sai Baba says, "Keep the name of the Lord always on your lips and you will find that all thoughts of envy and hatred will disappear from you hearts. Let every moment be a bhajan (a devotional song). Avoid all lesser talk. Know the purpose of bhajan and devote yourself wholeheartedly to it."

Sandweiss explains, "Baba directs people to keep conscious contact with whatever experience they have of God and to meditate on that experience as much as they can. One may engage in the meditation formally, sitting quietly by oneself and trying to make contact with the light within... or one may practice constant repetition of one of the names of God so that God is on the tongue at all times. And Baba also teaches that one should relate to every life situation as if it is God, with the same sense of responsibility, devotion and love. Thus our daily activity will become a devotional service and our life an act of worship." 

"Bhakthi or devotion is the only path for reaching the divine destination. Bhakthi is the only panacea for all the ill of this world. Bhakthi is the only method of making you realize the truth." 

If one is not singing bhajans, Sai Baba recommends something that does not come naturally to me: "Practice silence. For the voice of God can be heard in the region of the heart only when the tongue is still... Silence is the speech of the spiritual seeker. Soft sweet speech is the expression of genuine love." I remember my friend from long ago was a quiet soul. Since she was not the kind to join social media I have been unable to find her, but maybe our paths will cross again. Sai Baba died in 2011, but he still has many followers, and I wonder if my friend is one of them. I glean wisdom from his words, but continue on my own path, seeking my truth.

I'm in Bella!

Having an article about my two books, The Existence of Pity and Courage Without Grace, in the September issue of the beautiful Bella Magazine has been fun all month long! It all started with the excitement of seeing the photos and article online, then looking all over town for my own hard copy. 

Of course I showed the article to everyone I know, and I would love to do it all again in October!  Especially because author Alice Crann Good and photographer Katie Treick did such a wonderful job! 

My tennis team is awesome!

I was with my cousin Betty when she nabbed the last copy of Bella at Joe Patti's Seafood for me. Luckily, Roger Scott Tennis Center had a few extra copies on hand! Have you seen the article? It starts on page 54!

Thanks Betty!