What I'm Reading: Book 15, The Delight of Being Ordinary

When I told one of my friends that my blog had been overtaken by book reviews of a more spiritual nature, she recommended I read The Delight of Being Ordinary: A Road trip with the Pope and the Dalai Lama, by Roland Merullo. She and I go way back. When I arrived in Washington, DC, at 22 with a green Chevette full of my belongings and a bike strapped on top, she became my first friend. I had been accepted to The George Washington University's Publication Specialist Program and found a job at the university working with her. We shared a large office in the history department and spent many hours talking as we worked, kindred spirits whose paths crossed for a year or two, then moved on -- her up north and me to Florida some years later. I read the book she recommended with her in mind, enjoying the memories of such a pivotal time in my life.

    This book was published in 2017, written when Pope Francis was head of the Catholic Church. The Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is still the leader of Tibetan Buddhism. Paolo dePadova tells us his story, how he is the First Assistant to his cousin, His Holiness the Pope of Rome, or was, until he orchestrates the kidnapping of a lifetime. Actually, dePadova's victims are willing accomplices who want nothing more than to take an unofficial vacation. DePadova himself is reluctant to comply with the Pope and Dalai Lama, but he is overruled and off the three men go on this unlikely but delightful adventure.

I enjoyed the story and the characters the three met along the way, and appreciated how dePadova  struggled with everyday life and didn't pretend to have all the answers, even though in his car (a borrowed Maserati with silver stripes!) sat two of the wisest men on the planet. The highlights of the book for me were the thought-provoking questions and the delicious nuggets of wisdom proffered by these titans of faith. Here are a few.

"All difficulties in this life, every moment of difficulty, comes from the distance between what is and what we want to be."

"The world is bursting with neurosis, and it seems to me that the source of this neurosis is a lack of appropriate acceptance, an urge to control everything, to resist God's divine guidance in whatever surprising or difficult form it takes."

"We wanted to think we understood, that we had some control, when in actual fact we made our way through time on the thinnest film of ice over a lake that was unfathomably deep and utterly mysterious..." 

These next two quotes are especially meaningful. "Ignore the cold wind of fear. Trust in God's protection. I tried to imagine what it would be like to believe every minute of every day according to advice like that! I was two steps into the dark dusty tunnel and filled with spiritual envy. To be free of fear! To believe - to really believe - that you were always watched over and protected by a kind and all-powerful spirit."

"Could it be, I wondered, could it really be that we were loved that way too? Could there be some Essence, some Father or Mother or Divine Intelligence that felt about me, about us, the way Rosa and I felt about Anna Lisa? Could our love for [our daughter] be some kind of metaphor for a large relationship, God to humankind?"

Like dePadova, I struggle to allow myself to truly believe, without fear, that I am loved by this all-powerful spirit as deeply as I love my children. It's nice to know I'm not alone. 

'"The Dalai Lama said, 'I say sometimes now, 'My religion is kindness,' because to say other things only divides people. All peoples can be kind.'"

This last quote reminds me of another favorite aspect of the book; the relationship between the Pope and the Dalai Lama. First and foremost, they are kind to each other, respecting the other's belief system. Laughter and delight seem to be their most proficient common language.

Many more pages have been dog-eared with passages underlined and tagged with sticky notes (I'm a firm believer in interacting with books), but much of the wisdom is circumstantial. You'll have to read it yourself to glean insights from the pages.

What I'm Reading: Feel-Good Book Five

When I lived in Washington, DC in the eighties, I met the meditation teacher Stephen Levine at a conference and bought his beautiful book, A Gradual Awakening. "Treasure yourself," he inscribed on the first page. I devoured the practical tips on meditation, the clear explanation of the benefits of becoming aware of "monkey mind" -- the mind's incessant chatter -- and found great joy in the guided meditations sprinkled throughout. 

One hot August day in 1988, I took this book and my lunch to the park at DuPont Circle for my lunch break from my job at the Institute for International Environment and Development. This park, surrounded by a large traffic circle and a magnificent fountain at its center, pulsed with life. Bike messengers, chess and checkers players, homeless people, others on break like me, and passersby filled the walkways and patches of grass.

Seated on a bench, I began to read the guided meditation on opening your heart in loving-kindness. I slowly read the words, "May all beings be happy. May all beings be clear-minded. May their hearts open. Slowly and gently let your love spread to all beings, everywhere."

"May all sentient beings, all feeling beings, may they be free from suffering. May they love themselves. May they come to their happiness. May they uncover the joy of their true self. All beings everywhere. Just let yourself sit in the light of this love, in this caring for yourself, for each other. Don't try to do anything. Just be. In love. In the light. May all beings share in this openness. May everyone experience this spaciousness, this openness of heart. may we all come home to our completeness."

As I read, sitting on the park bench in the summer sun, still wearing a sweater from the cold office, I felt the words crack my heart wide open. I ate my food, a delicious, peanut butter sandwich that I chewed slowly, appreciating deeply. I took in the others at DuPont Circle and loved each and every one, open to their sadness and their joy. I took in the whole city of Washington, DC.

My heart opened out to the country, touching my brothers' lives where they were, and my other relatives and friends. My heart opened out to the Americas -- including my parents who lived in Colombia -- and then to the world. As I meditated, tears of utter bliss streamed down my cheeks. Deeply, amazingly at peace with the whole universe. I saw my part in it, feeling the presence of a powerful force whose language is love.

All too soon, it was time to walk back to work. The world around me seemed to vibrate with life, with love. I felt wide open to others, to everything, deeply grateful for this beautiful life. 

But as hard as I tried to maintain that openness, it slipped away. It's okay, though. I know where to find it again; inside the covers of A Gradual Awakening.

PS My book Courage Without Grace takes place in DC, and Josie spends a lot of time in and around DuPont Circle. Here's Josie.

"For the first time since arriving in DC, I had hope. Pedaling past the many pigeons and bicycle messengers at DuPont Circle, I admired the park's fountain with its chalice-like shape, three sculptures, and low pool. On the Taft Bridge, I snapped pictures of my stone lion friends. The expressions on their regal faces looked pleased, as if they knew things were looking up for me and were glad to play their part. 

 Still giddy with new hope, I turned up my street, standing as I pedaled up the hill. Something rumbled nearby, and I checked behind me. I nearly fell over when I saw the black motorcycle. Dear God, will that man never leave me alone?"

The Futures Market

Me in my gypsy get-up, I hated it, lol!

 One other newspaper article in the Washington Post, this one in the Weekend section, told about my palm reading in the capital. This one, written by Larry Fox and published on January 5, 1990, was called "The Futures Market" and starts like this:

"There I sit, an otherwise normal-looking middle-aged male, as a younger and otherwise normal-looking woman uses a hand-sized roller to spread greasy, black ink over my palms as we sit at a white linen-covered table in an upscale restaurant while the waiter watches nervously, wondering perhaps whether to dial 911 and report the rebirth of the Black Hand Society in his Adams-Morgan bistro.

"Relax, we assure the waiter, no problem here. The woman and I are on a search for information about my past and my future. That's where the inky palms come in. The inked flesh is pressed onto white squares of paper, setting out in fine detail every tiny line, crack and whorl. Some say those minute etchings unlock many of life's mysteries and that if you can read them, you can see the future and understand the past."

If you want to read the complete article, let me know and I'll send you a copy. Meanwhile, pick up Courage Without Grace, here: Courage Without Grace The Kindle version is only $2.99 until March 30, 2021!

In Courage Without Grace, Josie lives in DC and works as a palmreader. She is trying to correct a mistake from her past so that she can move on, but she keeps walking into more problems--or riding motorcycles into them! 

My Claim to Fame

In Courage Without Grace, Josie reads palms at parties, but she doesn't meet anyone famous. In reality, one of the most memorable experiences I had in Washington, DC was reading palms at a party hosted by Ben Bradlee and Sally Quinn. Mr. Bradlee was the executive editor of the Washington Post at the time, and his socialite wife knew everyone who was anyone in the capital. I remember being awed by their beautiful home (so many books!) and by their kindness to me. I was also impressed with the famous faces I saw. 

I don't remember how any of the palm-readings went, but I do remember meeting Carl Bernstein. I know it was him and not Bob Woodward because he told me Dustin Hoffman played him in All the President's Men, not Robert Redford. I was all of 25, so I'll admit I was disappointed it wasn't Robert Redford! I had made it a habit to ask for reference letters when my time was up, and I still have what Mr. Bradlee wrote, on his letterhead. 

"Jeannie Oliver was great on Saturday night, February 10, 1990. Reading palms. I suspect she is great every night--reading palms and making..." what?! It's been  years, and I still haven't figured out what that last word is! What do you think it says?

Later in 1990, Anita Womack wrote an article about me in The Washington Post Magazine entitled "Giving Her a Hand." Here are highlights: 

"Coffee? Tea? Or how about a peek into your future? Meet Jeannie Oliver, teatime palm reader at the park Hyatt Hotel. She sweeps into the hotel lounge Wednesdays and Thursdays at 3 and begins asking customers if they want their palms read.

John Herrmann, a senior cataloguer at the Library of Congress, has had his palm read several times and says he learns something new about himself every time. What's more, he recently took a vocational test and says Oliver's findings mirror the results. "It's cheaper than a vocational test and certainly a lot more fun," he says. It can, of course, get much more expensive; Oliver's full sessions are $60 an hour. 

How does the daughter of Baptist missionaries end up in a business like this? By having her palm read, as Oliver did about two years ago. 'It made me feel so good about myself, and I said, I'd like to do this for other people.'"

Click here for the ebook version of   Courage Without Grace It's still on pre-order at only $2.99! Grab your kindle/ereader copy today! And not to worry, I'll keep you posted on the paperback edition.

Share Your Lions Here

 In writing my book, Courage Without Grace, I was able to revisit, at least in my mind, some of my favorite things about Washington, DC, and the statues ranked high on that list. Iconic monuments are visited by millions each year (well, maybe not in 2020) and fountains and men on horses can be spotted throughout the capital. Then there are the unobtrusive guardians, like the lions who flank the Taft Bridge. 

From Courage Without Grace: "I crossed Taft Bridge along Connecticut Avenue, high above Rock Creek Park's tall trees and winding road. Four huge statues of lions guarded the bridge: two on each end. I loved seeing their shaggy stone heads uplifted over huge outstretched paws, and called to them each time I walked by. Their magnificence, reminding me of the loftier aspects in life, always lifted my spirits, and I took photos of them often."

The lion pictured here is an original, created in 1906, but the lions in DC now are replacements installed in 2000. They are just as impressive, and I look forward to visiting them during my next trip to DC. 

I'm not sure where my fascination with lions came from, but I see them everywhere. In front of houses and businesses, carved into walls in downtown Pensacola, for sale in stores, the list goes on. We even have a pair of our own. A few years back, my sister-in-law gave them to Chris and me, and they stand in front of our garage gym. I just noticed today, taking this picture, that there are lions carved on the lions! 

When fellow writer Diane Skelton learned about my love for lions, she told me that
the lion is one of the symbols for her husband's fraternity, Sigma Alpha Epsilon. To SAE, "The Lion represents courage, strength, and heart. They are associated with radiant solar energy. In astrology, with the sign Leo, they remind us to take time to relax and bask in the sun and to enjoy the warmth of our accomplishments. Because they live and hunt together, Lions can also symbolize strength in our family and friendship ties." How inspiring is that?!

Do you have a lion in your life? I'd love to see pictures of the lions by your front door, in your neighborhood, or ones you've seen in your travels. I look forward to seeing much more of these symbols of courage, strength, and heart. 

My second novel, Courage Without Grace, will be released online at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, Kobo Books, Google Play, and iTunes on March 30, 2021. Check out The Existence of Pity here!

Due Date: March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021, marks the day a life-long dream of mine will come true. It's the debut of Courage Without Grace, my second novel. 

As a continuation of The Existence of Pity, where I introduced sixteen-year-old Josie in Colombia, South America in 1976, now it's 1983 and Josie, 22, is living in Washington, DC, reading palms for a living, and trying to make sense of her relationships with Tom and his twin, Jack.

In my first book, I wrote from my experience of growing up in Colombia. This time around, I used my seven years in DC to create the setting for Josie. 

I loved DC. I loved Rock Creek Parkway, the museums, Georgetown, the Metro. I loved the people I met in 12-step programs and I loved reading palms at the Park Hyatt Hotel. I loved learning to ride a motorcycle, and heading into horse country in the Virginia mountains on my midnight blue Honda VT500 Ascot, stopping at roadside stands for apple cider along the way.

But I didn't love the cold. No April snow on springtime daffodils for me! I didn't love being far from my family, either. So I traded the excitement of the big city for the Gulf Coast's white sand beaches. Here in Florida, I've had more time to reflect on my past. 

Courage Without Grace is my fictional venture into 1980s DC, and I can't wait for you to read it. 

I'll keep you posted with more updates as March 30 nears, and meanwhile, if you haven't read The Existence of Pity, here's your chance! Find it HERE.

Let the countdown begin!

Courage Without Grace is Coming!

 I am thrilled to announce the cover reveal of my second book, Courage Without Grace. This book, written in November of 2012, follows Josie Wales to Washington, DC. Now 22, she is a palm reader at the Capital Park Hotel, and things aren't going well for her and Tom. 

To find the courage to end the relationship, Josie seeks advice from new friends, but she somehow manages to make an even bigger mess of her life. When Jack, Tom's twin, comes to town to reconnect, he helps Josie get her feet back on the ground. Just as Josie is beginning to resolve the chaos in her life, a tragic secret from her past comes back to haunt her. Before she can move forward and have a second chance at love, she must face her grief and loss.

Just as with my first book, The Existence of Pity, the setting in the book mirrors my life. After growing up in Colombia and going to college in Texas, I moved to DC and became a palm reader, with a steady gig at the Park Hyatt Hotel. I loved my years in the capital city, where I read palms at parties (including one for Sally Quinn and Ben Bradlee) and learned how to ride a motorcycle. But, to be honest, it just got too cold for me. After over six years, I headed south, and have been happily writing in Northwest Florida ever since.

Courage Without Grace doesn't have a publication date yet, but it's coming soon. Not to worry, I'll keep you posted!