What I'm Reading: Book 15, The Delight of Being Ordinary

When I told one of my friends that my blog had been overtaken by book reviews of a more spiritual nature, she recommended I read The Delight of Being Ordinary: A Road trip with the Pope and the Dalai Lama, by Roland Merullo. She and I go way back. When I arrived in Washington, DC, at 22 with a green Chevette full of my belongings and a bike strapped on top, she became my first friend. I had been accepted to The George Washington University's Publication Specialist Program and found a job at the university working with her. We shared a large office in the history department and spent many hours talking as we worked, kindred spirits whose paths crossed for a year or two, then moved on -- her up north and me to Florida some years later. I read the book she recommended with her in mind, enjoying the memories of such a pivotal time in my life.

    This book was published in 2017, written when Pope Francis was head of the Catholic Church. The Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is still the leader of Tibetan Buddhism. Paolo dePadova tells us his story, how he is the First Assistant to his cousin, His Holiness the Pope of Rome, or was, until he orchestrates the kidnapping of a lifetime. Actually, dePadova's victims are willing accomplices who want nothing more than to take an unofficial vacation. DePadova himself is reluctant to comply with the Pope and Dalai Lama, but he is overruled and off the three men go on this unlikely but delightful adventure.

I enjoyed the story and the characters the three met along the way, and appreciated how dePadova  struggled with everyday life and didn't pretend to have all the answers, even though in his car (a borrowed Maserati with silver stripes!) sat two of the wisest men on the planet. The highlights of the book for me were the thought-provoking questions and the delicious nuggets of wisdom proffered by these titans of faith. Here are a few.

"All difficulties in this life, every moment of difficulty, comes from the distance between what is and what we want to be."

"The world is bursting with neurosis, and it seems to me that the source of this neurosis is a lack of appropriate acceptance, an urge to control everything, to resist God's divine guidance in whatever surprising or difficult form it takes."

"We wanted to think we understood, that we had some control, when in actual fact we made our way through time on the thinnest film of ice over a lake that was unfathomably deep and utterly mysterious..." 

These next two quotes are especially meaningful. "Ignore the cold wind of fear. Trust in God's protection. I tried to imagine what it would be like to believe every minute of every day according to advice like that! I was two steps into the dark dusty tunnel and filled with spiritual envy. To be free of fear! To believe - to really believe - that you were always watched over and protected by a kind and all-powerful spirit."

"Could it be, I wondered, could it really be that we were loved that way too? Could there be some Essence, some Father or Mother or Divine Intelligence that felt about me, about us, the way Rosa and I felt about Anna Lisa? Could our love for [our daughter] be some kind of metaphor for a large relationship, God to humankind?"

Like dePadova, I struggle to allow myself to truly believe, without fear, that I am loved by this all-powerful spirit as deeply as I love my children. It's nice to know I'm not alone. 

'"The Dalai Lama said, 'I say sometimes now, 'My religion is kindness,' because to say other things only divides people. All peoples can be kind.'"

This last quote reminds me of another favorite aspect of the book; the relationship between the Pope and the Dalai Lama. First and foremost, they are kind to each other, respecting the other's belief system. Laughter and delight seem to be their most proficient common language.

Many more pages have been dog-eared with passages underlined and tagged with sticky notes (I'm a firm believer in interacting with books), but much of the wisdom is circumstantial. You'll have to read it yourself to glean insights from the pages.

Feel-Good Book 9: Holy Cow!

I found this gem on audio at my local library and loved it so much I bought the book version to read again, and to dog-ear some pages. Holy Cow, published in 2002, is the story of Australian reported Sarah Macdonald who follows her fiance Jonathan Harley, also a writer, to India for six months. It becomes a two-and-a-half-year quest for inner peace.

When she begins with having her palm read, I knew I'd love the book. (In Courage Without Grace, my main character is a palm reader.) Although Holy Cow is beautifully written, full of humor and wit and thoughtful observations, it is not for the squeamish. Macdonald describes with unflinching detail the crowds (one billion and counting in an area about one third the size of the States), the pollution, the begging, and what seems to be ever-present death. This ugliness seems to be India's strength. When Macdonald sees how happy its people are, a man explains that Indians see those who have a harder life than they do and are grateful, thanking God for what they have. But we Westerners look at the people above us and think, why don't I have what they have? This constant comparison creates our unhappiness. Hmmm...

"India is beyond statement, for anything you say, the opposite is also true," Macdonald says. "It's rich and poor, spiritual and material, cruel and kind, angry but peaceful, ugly and beautiful, and smart but stupid. It's all the extremes."

When Macdonald goes on a silent meditation retreat for ten days, she describes it in her usual candid way, as a "brain enema." This is Vipassana, an ancient Buddhist training technique, and one of its theories states that, "Unconscious thoughts create physical sensations, so letting sensations arise and pass without reacting gets rid of unconscious pollutants within our mind." For the first few days, she is overwhelmed by the silence, the aches and pains, and her restless mind, but by the end she says, "I skip out the gates, down the hill and back into India on air. My mind is clear, my heart is open, everyone is beautiful, everyone is worth loving, the world is wonderful and I feel universal love and compassion for all. For the first time in my life I'm living in the moment and I no longer miss my job, perhaps because my need for outward success to feed the ego has diminished."

Alas, she doesn't maintain the euphoria, and her quest continues as she learns about Islam, Hinduism, Sufism, American Sikhs, Hare Krishnas, Jainism, Judaism, Indian Christianity, and Parsi Zoroastrians, who "leave out their dead for vultures believing it's the cleanest, most hygienic way of getting rid of the soul's temporary home."

"I've made a start in India along my path to personal transformation and inner peace. "The Sikhs have shown me how to be strong, the Vipassana course taught me how to calm my mind, India's Muslims have shown me the meaning of surrender and sacrifice, and the Hindus have illustrated an infinite number of ways to the divine."

And yet, after all her seeking, she adds, "A phrase from the Dalai Lama's teachings comes back to me; 'Some will be drawn to Buddhism but I really think it's best that you try and find truth in the religion of your forebears and ancestors. It is very hard to change religion. I think it's safer not to.'"

Some may say I've left out the best aspect of this book: the people Macdonald meets as she travels all over India in this rollicking adventure. Oh, and the part where her now-husband Jonathan is in Afghanistan--and it's September 11, 2001. There's something in this book for everyone, and what speaks to me is her spiritual journey.

"I've learned much from the land of many gods and many ways to worship. From Buddhism the power to begin to manage my mind, from Jainism the desire to make peace in all aspects of life, while Islam has taught me to desire goodness and to let go of that which cannot be controlled. I thank Judaism for teaching me the power of transcendence in rituals and the Sufis for affirming my ability to find answers within and reconnecting me to the power of music. Here's to the Parsis for teaching me that nature must be touched lightly, and the Sikhs for the importance of spiritual strength. I thank the gurus for trying to pierce my ego armor and my girlfriends for making me laugh. And most of all, I thank Hinduism for showing me that there are millions of paths to the divine."

What I'm Reading: Feel-Good Book One

 
A few things have been boggling my mind lately. One is that the United States isn't very big. Our population is only 4.25 per cent of the total world population--just 4.25 per cent! But ... New York City! Can you believe it? If you're curious, here's a link: Population by Country 

Another mind-boggler is how short life is. Even a nice long life of 85 years only has 1,020 months in it, only 745,000 hours. When I realized that, it didn't seem like enough time to get everything checked off my life's to-do list, like traveling and spending time with friends and loved ones. But there's also a daunting stack of books I want to read. And there's so much I still want to learn! Do I have time to become a senior Olympian in pole vaulting? Can I still learn to play the drums, even though I seem to be rhythmically challenged?

There's also more writing to be done. I'd love to write more novels and more poetry, but my mind wanders most often to the books I want to write about. I've set myself a goal of reading twenty uplifting books and compiling the take-aways: quotes, thoughts, realizations. This is the project my life must contain, and since apparently life is short, I'm starting this one now, and I'll be sharing it here.

The first book is The Kindness Handbook: A Practical Companion. The gentle title and gorgeous cover grabbed my attention, and I found many words of wisdom here from best-selling author Sharon Salzberg, a Buddhist meditation teacher.

Here's a credo to live by right out of the gate: "Spending a few minutes each day thinking of the good within us and taking delight in the goodness we can manifest is how we are able to continually touch on and deepen a true and genuine happiness."

Salzberg offers quotes from other worthy sources:

From the Tao Te Ching, "One who knows that enough is enough will always have enough."  

From the Dalai Lama, "In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves, the experience of our own suffering is less intense."

Quoting the Buddha, "Anger with its poison source and fevered climax is murderously sweet." Salzberg continues with, "It has both sides -- the sweet relief of the energy, and the murderous side. Our effort must be not to suppress the feeling of anger, but to not have it be the automatic or inevitable place from which we act." She shares a story about a child who has these words of wisdom that made me laugh. "Just try not to hit people."

Salzberg shares a story about a frustrating airplane ride and what she learned from Bob Thurman, to try seeing people we are randomly associated with as "my people." Her impatience on the airplane changed, she shares, when she saw her fellow travelers in a different light. "I watched the interplay of forces in my own mind as interest opened the door to a measure of kindness."

The wrap-up: In order to foster kindness for myself and others, I can think of the good within me; accept my "enoughness;" give attention to the needs of others; and become more curious about those around us who are our people, since interest opens doors to kindness. Oh, and just try not to hit people.